A mixed bag

Today has been an interesting day, emotionally. First, SYTYCD. By now everyone knows that I always tear up a little during the dances. Music gets me emotional, whatever, I don't know why I do but I do.

So you can imagine my reaction to the Mia Michael's dance with Neil and Lacey. I actually really like Mia, and I like her dances usually. She reminds me of Kelli a lot too, in the way she talks and her short blond hair. But anyway, her dances always touch me since they're usually about broken relationships or whatever. But when she started talking about how the dance was about two people reuniting in heaven, I started sniffling. Then when she said it was meant to be about her reuniting with her father (who passed away from cancer), I lost it. Understandably I guess, since my dad passed away from cancer. And I know we sure as hell wouldn't dance in heaven, we'd probably drink some tea and play a few rounds of cards - but you get the point.

I don't even know if I liked the dance or not (I think not because I hate Neil and I couldn't really read too much emotion from him or Lacey) but just the thought of what it was meant to be about broke me down. And poor Aaron hates seeing me upset, but I am lucky in that he can always comfort me no matter what is wrong. He always knows just what to do and say. Or not say.

Then after the show I got a beautiful email from an amazing friend saying that she was bawling during the dance, thinking of me and my dad. That really touched me (and I think we should be gushy friends sometimes! Maybe more than sometimes). It's so important to let people you care about know you care about them. So thanks for that lovely email.

Which brings me to what else I was thinking about the rest of the day - how it seems like I have dropped off the face of the earth to some people. Friends and family alike. I don't know what I did, or didn't do, but suddenly people have just started ignoring me. And that really hurts. I know lives are busy, people get stressed from work and finances and other things so you aren't always in the mood to pick up the phone or send an email. Believe me, I get it. But it's still really cold to read an email, and not respond. Especially when it's about my husband having surgery. And then to read another email, and not respond. I mean, my life can get busy and stressed, but if anyone I knew was about to go under the knife, I would be on the phone or sending an email or at least checking to see if they're still alive. I know I need to stop harping on the surgery thing but it's just to make the point that I'm not emailing a bunch of pointless small talk that doesn't warrant an immediate response.

I just don't understand how you can cut someone out of your life with no explanation and no reason.

So in light of those thoughts running around my head, getting an unexpected email from someone actually happy to know me and have me in their life was an incredible feeling. Certainly takes some of the sting away!

It's been a rollercoaster type of day.

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And now the bridge collapse, which I can't even really process right now, since it's so horrific. I'm still in shock.